I had a huge realization this morning.
I was feeling some anger over a recent situation and couldn’t get over the hump of it so I can let it go. Then it hit me. Not everyone is like me. I intellectually know that but emotionally…I don’t. I have weaknesses. I have written in the past of my unrealistic expectations. I feel tremendous rejection and pain when I feel that my expectations aren’t met. Yet, not everyone is on the same page as me or as a friend texted me “sometimes they not even reading the same book”.
This past weekend taught me many lessons in reaction. One is that I, sometimes, have the tendency to either overreact or be in denial. I overreact to what I can say are seemingly insignifant issues. Yet, I can not even react to very important issues. I can take a small issue, rip it to pieces so I can find faults, then force the pieces together and be upset that the puzzle doesn’t look like the box cover. In the same breath, I can take a very important issue and go, “Hmmm. Yeah, that really sucks but I can’t deal with it right now.” What ends up happening is the denial turns into my personal drama. I have been getting better about this side of myself.
Anyway, here’s the conclusion I came to today. Though I grew up watching baseball, going to games, and rooting for the home team, I don’t necessarily need to know the stats of the players and who is being traded. My life doesn’t revolve or isn’t dictated by baseball. I have to remember that the same is true for others in my life. Not everyone sees what I see or feels what I feel. The other conclusion I am working towards is that I should address the what I am denying. It is better to face the situations so they are left unresolved.
I also have to remember that I have a tendency to let these type of things cloud the goodness that is happening. I have to be in the moment. We had a successful reading of Imaginary and are moving along with Twelfth Night. I really have nothing to complain about. Well, maybe the issue in which I am in denial.
What’s next? Twelfth Night!